I had a dream that the sperm bank called me.

They scolded me for having a savings account there. Told me I was reckless for just throwing it away.

I told them I hate the stuff. That’s why I’m always trying to get rid of it. I like to let them out, I imagine it gets crowded in there. I think they’re claustrophobic. Besides, I don’t just throw it away, I also donate it at the bar.

I told them I believed that one bank account where I make deposits and women make withdrawals was enough, but they wouldn’t listen.

So I rushed over. They thanked me for cumming so quickly. I said I was well known for doing so. I like being punctual. I wanted to beat the crowd, their service is first cum, first served. Also, when it comes to sperm, there’s nothing scarier than the word “late”.

So now I have an account, and when I write checks my ass can’t cash, my penis can’t either.

At least I know this account will never be over drawn. Only savings account I’ve ever had for which there was no interest.

I asked them if they’d waive the monthly fee if I got direct deposit. They told me direct deposit (or erect deposit in this case) would have been a self-defeating service for a sperm bank to offer, because it’s technically called “having a girlfriend”.

Their ATMs seem convenient, but instead of charging you a fee to use it, you get charged with lewd and lascivious behavior. Don’t use them, you’ll get the shaft.

I decided to get online to learn more about banking and realized I’ve been researching that topic online for years.

The only reason I can think of to work at a sperm bank would be so that when I’m hassled at the supermarket for donations, I can say “No thanks, I gave at the office” and have it actually be true.

Alright, that’s all I have for this topic. Moving now from stupid sperm to other senseless dribble…