Thoroughly Disgusted by Today’s Music

Earlier this week I took my 7-year-old daughter to a dance that was held at her school. It’s a well-known fact that I really hate dancing, but frankly, at 7 years old, they don’t really want to dance with their father’s, they want to run around and play with their friends. I was told “Dad, don’t embarrass me.” so I spent the night standing around talking to other dads.

As one who doesn’t dance, music written specifically for dancing is completely wasted on me. Most of the time I find it very annoying, like a pair of boots in the dryer.

guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, CLANK! guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, CLANK!guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, guh-THUMP, CLANK!

However, I was more bothered than usual by the music I heard at this dance. Now, this school is a K-4 school, putting the attendees at 5-10ish? Let me share with you the play list. I’ll start with the most acceptable.

Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Not bad, I thought. I don’t hate it. It’s Halloween, and the kids actually did a modified version of the dance in one of their previous school presentations, so a bunch of them were dancing to it, having a great time.

Katy Perry – Firework. Ok, I really hate the song myself, and I can’t F’ing get away from it, but frankly there’s nothing I can really call inappropriate about it, except the artist.

Dynamite. I don’t know who sings it, and again… Very annoying song, everywhere I go, but…

Katy Perry’s other music they played:

Last Friday Night.”
Don’t know it? Let me acquaint you with some of the lyrics…

There’s a stranger in my bed,
There’s a pounding my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ’s passed out in the yard
Barbie’s on the barbecue

There’s a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

And

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

Ok…

How about Katy Perry – California Gurls. Let’s just overlook the fact that that’s not how you spell girls.

California girls, we’re unforgettable
Daisy dukes, bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin, so hot
We’ll melt your popsicle

California girls, we’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it one lock
West-coast represent
Now put your hands up

Sex on the beach
We’ve got white sand in our stilettos
We freak in my jeep
Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo

AND

I mean the ones, I mean like she’s the one
Kiss her, touch her, squeeze her buns
The girl’s a freak, she drive a Jeep
And live on the Beach

I’m okay, I won’t play, I love the bay
Just like I love L.A.
Venice Beach and Palm Springs
Summertime is everyday

Homeboys bangin’ out
All that ass hangin’ out
Bikinis, zuchinis, martinis, no weenies
Just a king and a queenie

But wait, there’s more!

LMFAO – Sexy and I know it. Like I want my 7-year-old listening to a band called “Laughing my fucking ass off” in the first place.

This entire song is inappropriate first of all, but here are my favorite parts:

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

When I’m at the mall, security just can’t fight them off
And when I’m at the beach, I’m in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
This is how I roll, come on ladies it’s time to go
We headed to the bar, baby don’t be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)

How about the Macarena? You remember that… Here’s the translation to English:
http://lyricstranslate.com
Give happiness to your body Macarena
’cause your body is for giving happiness and nice things to
Give happiness to your body Macarena
Heeey,… Macarena! Aaay!
(repeat once)

Macarena has a boyfriend who’s called
who’s called the last name Vitorino,
and while he was taking his oath as a conscript
she was giving it to two friends …Aaay!
(repeat once)

(Chorus)

Macarena , Macarena , Macarena
you’re popular the summers in Marbella
Macarena , Macarena , Macarena
you like the guerilla excesses …Aaay! (Wha? What the hell does that even mean??)
(repeat once)

(Chorus)

Macarena dreams of the English Tailor*
and buys the latest models
She would like living in New York
and seduce a new boyfriend… Aaay!

PSY – Gangnam style
First of all, this song is not so bad as these other ones, but uses the word “sexy” an awful lot… I didn’t know that word until I was like 13. Maybe that’s a different story. However, the video is filled with scantily clad women, and the kids were all doing the ridiculous dance… I wouldn’t want my daughter watching those women, personally, but I guess it’s the least of the evils.

Nicki Minaj. First of all… “Sticks in my bun”.
[Chorus:]
I done put two sticks in my bun
So they recognize me when I come
I’m D-M-C like Run
Listen mami I’m the muthafuckin one

[Verse:]
You don’t like me you just like my flow
Just booked a show but I might not go
Nigga said he didn’t have a pole for my hoe
Damn why a nigga tryna fuck up my dough
When it come to me it be like they go
They tell me to stop but I’m like hell no
Now everybody watch my M-O
Nicki been hot since you rock shell tops
Yessir

Ha ha ha ha
Gotta laugh at that
Bitch give me the ball I’m a pass it back
Spit nothin but crack got bags of that
When it come to rap I master that

Or how about “I’m Cumin”?
Okaye okaye okaye okaye (I’m cominnnnn)
Now whose hot, whose not? Shorty du whoop, it’s
Cool you blood clot, (COOL), you come to the spot see if you
Don’t get got, see if you don’t get got when the semi go cop,
I’m like ayee what the fuck a bitch think? (uh huh) Nick, you know ain’t nuttin changed but
My wink (okaye), pink on pink everything insync, I write pretty lyrics every pen pink ink,
I’m representin all my girls, niggas double up, I don’t play around I’m a have to
Shut ‘er down, run up into town I’m a have to get the crown, I’m the Youngs Queens
Bitch with the platinum sound, None of ya girls can steal my shine, Fendi brought me to
The game, Now I’m in my prime (yup), stay humble, stay low, stay on the grind
I don’t needa a light but I stay in the lime,

[Hook:]
When I tell em that I’m cumin I’m cumin
Rap bitches in the game always huffin and puffin
(Damn) why these bitches always frontin for nuthin
Fuck around I’m a have these bitches runnin from suttin [x2]

[Verse 2:]
Guess what Nicki spit crack like yayo, yup matter fact when I rap
It okayo, Come through the hood all the boys say ayo, lettuce and tomato
Don’t forget the mayo, Words in the street that Nicki don’t play doe,
Bitches pop shit but they soft like play dough, gotta lotta banks so she wanna be
Me, I gotta full tank little momma on E, I fly first class overseas on this BB, snapple
In my hand and it’s strawberry kiwi, I ain’t even make it, and these girls wanna be me
You Mrs. Me too like you always say me me, I’m who they believe in, mami
Don’t even, Soon as I put the keys in I switch like seasons, get a couple beats from my
Nigga dough bezy, why would I go hard when this shit is so easy,

[Hook x2]

But they played Superbase.
He a motherfucking trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship
When he make it drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip
That’s the kind of dude I was lookin’ for
And yes you’ll get slapped if you’re lookin’ hoe

I said, excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly
I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie
You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh
Yes I did, yes I did, somebody please tell him who the F I is
I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

I could literally go on and on. These are just the ones that popped up in my mind as I started to type.

I can truly say, I’m disgusted by this. Seven year old girls singing
“Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois”

I don’t swear much on this blog, but are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? People look down on other parents who swear in front of their kids, but they let them listen to this garbage? No wonder teen pregnancy is a problem. No wonder girls are so fucking self-conscious! They’re looking up to people who commercialize being sluts! I don’t care that they have one lyrically decent song, once that’s in the kid’s head, they’re going to look for more, and the rest of the menu is atrocious!

I’m a father of two girls, and I’m scared to fucking death by this shit! And why am I the only person in the god damned room who was looking around in shock?? This is disgusting! people are ok with this? Am I turning into “that parent” who wants to ruin a good time for everyone else? …is THIS what qualifies as a “good time” now?? I’ve always been a little older than my age, but… seriously?

I am well aware that you’re not able to insulate a kid from everything that you’d like to, and frankly, you’d have one heck of a weenie for a kid if you did… But I feel this sort of thing is just unnecessary and over the line, and all together disgusting. You wouldn’t had kids pictures of adults doing the things these people are singing about right? Allowing kids to learn and perform these lyrics and dance moves should get people registered as sex offenders and child abusers.

And performers: You may not like it, but you are being looked at as role models. Show some self respect and class. You may not have a responsibility to anyone but yourself, but if you can’t be successful without shaking your chest and talking about sexual favors, then you are worthless, I don’t care how much money it makes you.

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7 thoughts on “Thoroughly Disgusted by Today’s Music

  1. It’s mostly likely only going to get worse (or better, depending on your viewpoint). I pretty much avoid listening to the mainstream stuff by the top artists [sic] and stick to NPR Rhythm & News. It’s a lot more to my eclectic tastes.
    Then again, when I think about it, my favorite song is How do you kiss the lips at night when they chew your ass out all day long by the Notorious Cherry Bombs (Vince Gill and Rodney Crowell). So I guess I don’t have much room to talk.

  2. As a metal fan from way back, I guess I can’t complain too much. It was mostly “cock rock” (not a lot of female performers in the genre) and very sexually charged lyrically at times. Although I’m no fan at all of the musical side of what you’re discussing, I can’t say the lyrics thrill me, but I’m unable to bring myself to be a hypocrite and say it’s terribly worse than what I listened to. It isn’t, really. The only diff is the gender it’s aimed at (and that may well be a MAJOR difference, I’ll grant you, but not for me to say.)

    • I’m unable to bring myself to be a hypocrite and say it’s terribly worse than what I listened to. It isn’t, really.

      Really? We’ll agree to DIS-agree here, but I cannot remember ONE heavy metal song with the word “nigga” in it. Not one. While I’m racking my brain in this space I don’t seem to remember our music bein’ this explicit. There was innuendo and a lot of double-entendres, but not the specificity you hear today.

      Appalling.

      • I’m not saying it isn’t something that should be listened to at all, although I really can’t see the appeal, Myself, but if that’s what people like, to each his or her own…

        But at age 7? I sure has hell didn’t listen to anything even remotely suggestive at the age of 7.

      • Fair enough, Buck. Not as explicit, mostly, I’ll agree with that. But there were some things that might make a programming director wary of putting the songs over the air today. These lyrics are from memory, so if I miss a word, I know you’ll forgive me.

        Mott The Hoople, “All The Way To Memphis” – Some SPADE said, Rock ‘n rollers, you’re all the same.

        Lou Reed, “Take A Walk On The Wild Side” – And the COLORED girls sing, do do do do do do do do

        I don’t recall any “niggas”, but I can’t say that I know of any in today’s music, either, at least that which is sung by white guys. I don’t particularly care for it in music from black folk, but I’d be right pissed if some black guy told me I couldn’t sing a song that I wrote with the words “Mick” “Harp” “Potato-Eatin’ drunk baby beater” or whatever else I might like to use to describe my own ethnicity.

        Good subject for a debate, though, and you know I appreciate your (and Matt’s) takes on it.

    • I’ll agree with you here, mostly. I’ve long had unkind thoughts concerning the “ghettoizing” of American culture in general. I’m not saying that I haven’t contributed in some way, but I’m not necessarily proud of it.

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