Spoiler Alert! – I Don’t Care.

Over the relatively few years I’ve been paying attention to the way people treat other people… let’s say 33… all my life… I’ve noticed that there are many times that people treat other folks in ways that they’d like to be treated.

This is good yes? Do unto others as you would have them to do you, was it?

The problem with that statement is that people take it too literally. It’s nice in theory, but in practice it’s not practical. Not everyone likes the things you do.

There are countless examples that I can think of where this philosophy just turns into nothing but irritation for me, and it’s usually in situations where whatever is going on is enjoyed by a majority of people, so therefore, must be enjoyed by me to, right?? Alas, no.

Dancing is one such example. Everyone loves to dance right!? …No, not so. I hate it. I get no pleasure whatsoever from dancing. I feel goofy doing, and when I’m done, I’m sweaty. Very not worth it. But dancing folk feel the need to pull you onto the dance floor anyway. “Oh, you’re just being silly”. “Once you get up there, you’ll love it.”

I appreciate the desire to share your enjoyment with me, and honestly I’m touched that you would go through such trouble to try to bring to me the enjoyment that you get, but please understand, you’re not the first to have tried. Believe it or not, my problem isn’t that I’ve never tried it before, or I misunderstand the activity. I’m sorry if I shake the foundation of all your understanding of the word “fun”, but I just don’t f*cking like it.

But this is not the intent of this particular post, which is why I only spent around 300 words, give or take on it.

I remember being about the age of ten, and I was given a book by a family member. I read a bit, got into the story, and wondered where it was going. I didn’t really feel much like reading though, as I’m a ridiculously slow reader, even now, so it was far worse twenty years ago.

I asked my family member what happened later in the book, and was told “You’ll have to read it.”

At the age of ten, I can understand this line of thought, as nothing makes a poor reader get more efficient at reading, like reading. It’s important to encourage a new reader to read. This attitude though persisted and not just with family members, throughout my entire life, and still does with most people.

I really hate when someone will refuse to “spoil” a story, even if you ask them to, because “well that would spoil it!” …I can honestly say, I have never liked a story less because I knew the ending. Ever. In fact, most of the time when I’m reading or watching a movie, I guess the ending. Almost always. And you know what? When I’m wrong, I don’t find it any more or less enjoyable than when I’m right.

So what then, if not for the benefit of my own enjoyment, would someone possible withhold the ending of a story? It really doesn’t matter to me as far as the overall enjoyment of the story, so what do you have to gain by not “spoiling” it… But even knowing that nothing would be spoiled on my end, they still will not share.

Having made myself clear that it wouldn’t spoil it for me, they maintain it will spoil it… Spoil what? If nothing on my end is spoiled, it must be something on their end, right? What could possible matter to you about sharing a story you already know with someone who doesn’t? What do you get out of knowing something that I don’t, which I will eventually anyway? Do you get some sort of perverse feeling of superiority from it? Some kind of “I read faster and comprehend better than you, and if you can’t just do it, then you don’t belong in the “I know the end of that story” club with me?

But, of course, the average person would rather not know the end of the story. Why? I don’t know, some people claim it does in fact ruin the enjoyment. I don’t understand it, but then, I don’t understand a lot about what motivates the average Joe or Jane.

But I think of it like… I’m a computer guy. I know things about computers, and when I need to know something that I don’t, I go and find it. I usually know what’s going on when someone who doesn’t know about the application they’re using runs into trouble, and they always ask for my help. Could I tell them “Well, if I told you what was wrong, it will spoil your enjoyment.”

Well then I’d just be being an ass, of course, right? But what if I get tremendous satisfaction for having solved my own problems? Doesn’t everybody? I mean, everybody must love to solve their own problems, I can’t take that away from them! Maybe you should try dragging your computer onto the god damned dance floor, maybe then you’ll be able to make your way through the problem and join the “I know why your computer isn’t working” club, how bout that shit?

If I ask you what happens in a story, it’s because I want to know. Don’t look at it as a chance to enhance my enjoyment of the story, because it won’t. It will only make me want to strangle you.

How bout you, got any pet peeves about people doing what they think you want, regardless of what you tell them?

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