#atozchallenge – Having Kids means:

Having kids:

means that for the first time in (hopefully) a very long time, going to the bathroom is sometimes not a solo act anymore, even at times when you wish it could be.

means you should wear shoes in the house, most of the time.

means you’re going to get human excrement on your in some form or another, probably all.

you’ll learn to check for toilet paper before sitting down, and you’re often going to have to flush first too.

means you’ll have to clean toothpaste from places you know your kids shouldn’t be able to get toothpaste.

means you don’t have extra money. Ever.

means you’re going to find Legos, Barbie clothes, Cheerios, sand, french fries, bits of apples, mushed bananas, unidentifiable slime, and / or other sorts of unusual things in your house, cars, couches, pockets, laundry, sinks, appliances, power receptacles, windows, beds, dressers, closets, drawers, nightstands, telephone receivers, and other such places, and it won’t always be fresh.

you find out how fast a sippy-cup full of milk can turn into a sippy-cup full of cheese.

you’ll realize how much sex and violence there really is on TV.

you’ll realize how stupid the shit you did as a kid really was.

you’ll become a hypocrite, and realize that it’s the right thing to do.

is the toughest job you’ll ever love, and is totally worth it.

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