So THAT is a Meme…

I’ve just been informed of a new way to be tagged. In the past, I’ve been tagged while running bases (albeit MANY years ago, and probably EVERY time I’ve had to run bases.) I’ve been tagged in pictures, much more recently than while running bases. There are some ways I have not been tagged before though, and one if which is like this cow:

To my knowledge, that has not changed. 
However, I’ve been tagged to do what is apparently called a “meme” by James Sullivan. Wait, no, THIS James Sullivan, or Suldog. Or Sully or Jimi Larue or “Your prescription is ready”
Here’s the basis of this Meme… I have to answer his 8 questions, come up with 8 questions of my own, and then tag 8 people to answer my 8 questions, and tag 8 people of THEIR choice to answer… 
So without further delay, let’s get this over with. 

1 – You have a choice. You can have your nose replaced with a second set of your genitals, or you can have your genitals replaced with a second nose. Which would you choose, and why?

(I’d love to hear Suldog’s answer to this one too, seeing as when he met the person who asked him the 8 questions, he posted a picture of her with her finger up his nose… Many opportunities for questions right there…)

Well… First, let’s start with some basic assumptions here, as there were some details left out.  I’m going to assume that the replacement body part would be functional.I’m also going to assume that the replacement part would be another one of what you’ve already got… in other words, I’m assuming I couldn’t have my nose replaced with female genitals. 

Let’s explore the nose in the pants… 

First, farting would be nearly as funny as it is right now. Second, a sneeze down there might set of one of those not so funny farts. Third, sticking my nose in a toilet isn’t all that appealing when I’m vomiting, and I’m betting it’s even worse when doing other things. I’m not even going to get into how one would pee. 

Another thing to consider, I’ve had the problem before that when I do vomit, it sometimes comes out my nose. Would it come out the second nose too, or would the plumbing be different. One wonders what other sorts of stuff that comes out of the body, would sneak out the replacement nose.

Nose in the pants: Unpleasant to say the least. 

The alternative… Well, I do my best not to lie, so it would be difficult to explain why my nose was growing. Further, I get food in my mustache as it is, and sometimes my mustache gets in my mouth. Not a fan of the imagery that fact brings to that question. God only knows what would happen when I sneezed. I’m not going to explore the thought of whether or not that would produce boogers or what have you. 

Dongle on face: Unpleasant

As Suldog said in the answers to the questions that he was asked, loopholes are fair game… Believe it or not, I have red clown nose in a box in the attic. I have no idea where I got it, but it’s a “nose” and it’s mine. Now, I am not thrilled at the idea of having it replaced with genitals, but I don’t have any novelty genitals that I could have replaced by a nose. 

I’m going to opt to have my clown nose replaced by genitals. I’ll let you decide whether it’s replaced by male or female genitals, as long as said genitals also came from a clown.

2 – Do you think I give a tinker’s damn?
I suppose it depends on exactly what that is. If there were a group of people called “tinkers” and each tinker had a damn, unless Suldog himself were a tinker as well, I’d have to say no. Suldog, being a non-tinker, would be committing a crime… Obviously that damn was not his to give. 

Now, if there were damns that were called “Tinkers damns” in a way like ground beef, gravy, corn and potatoes is called “Shepherd’s pie”, and Suldog happened to have one that he didn’t want, or perhaps an excess of them, I would say that yes, he would give one. He’s a generous spirit. 

3 – If you suddenly found yourself transformed into a cockroach, would you step on yourself?
Certainly not. Self preservation is the number one priority for all living things. I know where I’d go to be safe though. I happen to know Suldog has a soft spot for insects as proven here and here.

4 – If fuschia was a smell, and avocados were polar bears, why not Toronto?
Indeed why not Toronto! Amen! Toronto has taken it on the chin (or in the pants, depending on how they answered question 1) for long enough!

5 – Does the fact that Deep Purple isn’t in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame piss you off? How about the fact thatFrankie Lymon & The Teenagers ARE in there? I mean, come on, not a bad singing group, but that’s like puttingEddie Brinkman in Cooperstown.

Eddie Brinkman, whom I really liked as a player, but come on…
I had no idea Deep Purple wasn’t in the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Yes, that pisses me off, because I happen to know there are many artists in there who didn’t play Rock or Roll. Isn’t Run DMC in there? I know they played with Aerosmith once, but… really?

6 – If you were Eddie Brinkman, would you be pissed off now?

DMC for that matter?) 

I will say though, judging by his picture, he chose to replace his genitals with a working nose, and just found out farts aren’t funny anymore.
7 – Artichokes or Hand Grenades?

Are we talking about to eat, or to blow things up? If we’re just talking interior design, they’re both fairly similar looking, but artichokes rot. I’d have to go with Hand Grenades. Artichokes come close, but as the saying goes, close only matters in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades. (or as I like to say Hand-shoes and Horse-grenades. I don’t know what a horse-grenade is but I can’t imagine it NOT being funny.)

8 – What’s that smell?

I think it depends on your answer to question 1. You could always ask Eddie.

Alrighty then, my turn… 
1 – What’s better advice for a kid. “Always look both ways before talking candy from strangers” or “when crossing the street, stop, drop, and roll”?
2 – If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
3 – and Unitarians?
4 – and Presbyterians?
5 – Do you think the fact that Underdog is no longer aired is due to fact that he would only gain his super powers after taking a pill, and people believe that promotes use of drugs, or because Garfield master minded a hostile take over of Underdog’s time slot?
6 – If you could choose one song to play loudly to announce your presence every time you entered a room, what would it be?
7 – What famous actor / actress would you cast as yourself in the motion picture?
8 – Cake or Pie?
Who to tag? I’m going to try not to tag anyone Suldog tagged. How ’bout:
I know, Suldog tagged the Surly Writer, and Quirky Loon, but I really wanna hear what they have to say. 🙂 

9 thoughts on “So THAT is a Meme…

  1. Nicely done, Matt. . . And can I say I admire the, uh, thoroughness with which you analyzed your answer to Question 1. Just for the sake of my own clarity, tho – you’d trade your clown nose for a dildo?And, I don’t know if Suldog is a tinker or not, but I’m pretty sure that he’s at least a sometime tinkler. Which gets us back to Question 1, doesn’t it?——But listen. . . if Presbyterians eat presbyters. . . well, can I just say that I’m long since ready to get the whole priest-sex-scandal thing behind us?And, uh, keep those Unitarians away from Randy Johnson. . .

  2. Hey I’m honored! Two different sets of questions!I’m all over that, baby!Really, I’m tickled loony! Thanks. And you gave some serious thought to Sully’s first question, eh?heeheeActually I’m glad I read your answers first to his questions, I admit I wasn’t sure about the smell thingie! Ha!

  3. I step back in awe of the thorough, analytical disection given here of these questions Suldog posed – not to mention my admiration of your logical, if also somewhat terrifying, train of thought, in answering them. But C’MONNNNNNN, do you really want me to play in this game??Okay. Don’t say you were never warned..

  4. Damn! That was fast! I never expected a response on this to happen so quickly. And, given the timeframe – or, even without taking it into consideration – well done!

  5. By the way, my answer to your #6 would be “Everybody Ought To Have A Maid”, from the musical, “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum”. Either that or “Highway Star”, by Deep Purple. I haven’t decided.As for my question #1, yes, I stipulated YOUR genitals. It was too easy if you could choose the genitals of the opposite sex. My own answer to my question #1 would be to opt for the second set of genitals on my face. As you speculate, it wouldn’t be so much because I want a schlong on my face as it would be I don’t think having a nose in my pants would be in any way pleasant.And I’ll take cake, thanks.And the word veri here is “hatter”, as in “mad as a…”

  6. I feel like dropping to the floor in a fetal position. Are you telling me I have 16 questions to answer, then come up with 16 questions to pass on to 16 people.I’ll know who to direct the people holding the torches and pitchforks…

  7. 6 – If you could choose one song to play loudly to announce your presence every time you entered a room, what would it be?I LIKE this question! Right off the top o’ my head: “Sympathy for the Devil,” (the live version from “Get Yer Ya-Yas Out”) if only for its first two lines: “Please allow me to introduce myself / I’m a man of wealth and taste…”Or Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.” “Hello… hello… hello… Is there anybody IN there?”Dunno if I’ll play the WHOLE tour, Matt. I’d pretty much given up on memes until now.

  8. The one thing that kept coming to mind for me with Jim’s first question was anything about sticking your nose in other people’s business. I really had a tough time getting past that.

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