In The End – A to Z Blog Challenge

I remember running into a friend if mine that I hadn’t seen in many years. He and I sat and caught up, told stories, shared some laughs, and went on our ways. It occurred to me later that I had no way of getting back in touch with this fellow, and it really kind of stung. I really liked this him, but I knew that there was a chance that I’d never see him again.

Over the years, I’d wondered about him, and many others that I’ve known who now, for all intents and purposes exist only in my memories. They could all be very happy right now, with lots of money, and spare time, and loved ones. They could all be having the times of their lives, and I hope that’s the case, but the sad reality is that they could also be dead. The fact that these people who once touched my lives may not be touching lives at all anymore, and I don’t even know, really sort of bothers me! Perhaps it irrational, no one can keep in touch with everyone, of course.

I was recently goofing around looking for cool blogspot names, trying different URLs to see what came up, and almost every single one I tried was taken. The sites were generally all pretty empty except for a scrawling or two of someone just writing to be read, or a post like “testing…”. Most hadn’t been used in over ten years. I started to wonder, what happened here? Someone clearly intended to be heard, but stopped for some reason. Perhaps they went over to WordPress or some other blog site. Maybe they stopped caring about blogging… what if they died, and their wisdom was never imparted?

Even now, today, as you and I trade posts… I have come to like a great many of you, and I look forward to reading your posts… what if some day they stopped? What if my last correspondence from you was a blog entry you did for some challenge about cabbage or donkeys, with a note like “See you next time!”

I saw this website called Letters from Beyond,. You basically sign up, write some depressing “goodbye, you did a good job, I’ll always love you” stuff, and one day when you go, it’ll be shared with loved ones I think. I saw another site once that you could create emails that would be sent at a certain date after your passing to an email address of your choice. Kinda creepy, if you ask me… That would have set my healing process back something fierce, to get an email from someone who’d died.

I toyed with writing a post “from beyond the grave” to let people know I’d died, just so they wouldn’t be wondering, and scheduling it for six or eight months out… and then just changing the scheduled date every time it drew near… But I know myself well enough to know I’d forget, you’d all get a post that I’d kicked, and then I’d have to explain what happened in a follow up post… And I’d set it up again, and forget again, and you’d be wondering if it were the real deal, etc…

I’m only 31, and dying doesn’t really cross my mind a whole lot… I certainly don’t intend to do it any time soon… but just thinking about the amount of data that would suddenly be inaccessible after the fact, because I’m a maniac about not sharing my passwords, and such… Lots of people wouldn’t know what happened, and couldn’t ask people who knew because the people who knew couldn’t check my email or update my blog or something… And it’s not like I can just go ask someone “Hey, if I croak, go to this website, log in with these credentials, and update my status, would you?”

Anyway, sorry for the morbidity, but it crept into my mind while I happened to be trying to think of an “I” entry.

To lighten the mood now, here’s a clip of Bill Cosby, cause he’s hysterical.


13 thoughts on “In The End – A to Z Blog Challenge

  1. One of my favored bloggers died about 10 months ago in a terrible accident. I can’t stand to take him off of my blog list or remove him as a follower, so he’ll just live on there. It makes me happy and I like to think it would make him happy.

  2. And here I thought I was the only one thinking such macabre things!I trust that I have enough overlapping “real life” and “online” friends for the latter to be notified fairly quickly in the event of my demise. I do wonder, though, what would happen with my “nonline” writings, stored mainly on the drives of 2+ laptops, some overlap, some not, 99% stuff no one’s seen. I’m not saying I’m Emily Dickinson (in any way), but I do imagine it would be a bit of a shock for my family to see it all, simply because they don’t know this side of me very well. I can only hope I outlive them all…

  3. It is one thing to die without telling your story, another thing to die and to LET the story die with you. Family skeletons in the closet and secrets dead. This has happened to me. Now, since my great Aunt died I will never find out the truth. That my friend is down right terrible.

  4. I just had to go back and make sure I didn’t leave the wrong kind of message in my post today.I probably did. One liners can be like that.So it appears many of us have similar thoughts about mortality. Since I no longer drink I can vouch that it’s not the booze.I only hope to live long enough to make amends to everyone… yeah, everyone I ever transgressed against.

  5. Here is some irony for you. In today’s mail I received a request for verification of contact information for a H.S. class reunion. I haven’t seen much of anyone from that bunch since graduation.

  6. @Leslie – I’m sure he would be happy. I think all we all really would like is at least to be remembered. @Cruella – I’ve resigned myself to leave a list of passwords somewhere that someone will find and can log in and post a “Sorry for the absence, but I’m dead.” post. Either that or they can steal my identity, such as it is… @Siv – Perhaps some skelletons were meant to stay in the closet? Maybe her story HAD been told, but just to a select few? @IT – The thing I love the best about Cosby, he can be funny without making one single rude remark or swear or anything… Just good clean humor. @Unc – Are you going??

  7. A lady whose book I simply loved, died earlier this year. Fortunately, her husband is keeping her blog up. She had tons of writing info on it. Afterward, I fell into this thing about ‘legacy’ and what we left behind…..And you bring up lots of valid things. My husband takes care of all the big bills (I hate dealing with those people!) and he has to keep all the passwords and stuff somewhere. And you mentioned emails from beyond the grave. Made me think of Yul Brenner. After he died of lung cancer, commercials came on tv where he talked about dying-from lung cancer. Creeped me out!!!!!Excellent post!

  8. I’ve always wondered about those apparently-abandoned blogs, too. Are the owners the worst procrastinators in the world, or did something bad happen? Or did they decided to take up quilting instead? I want to know.

  9. The “Letters From Beyond” thing IS downright strange… weird, even. I don’t think I wanna know anyone who’d use that “feature.”Re: passwords. I have mine safely stored and instructed both sons where to find them when I go; so there won’t be any secrets. Whether that’s a good thing or sumthin’ else entirely is a judgment call!

  10. I often think of my blog as a letter from the beyond. Because I don’t keep a journal, I consider my blog to be something that my children (if they ever come) will have to remember me by. Maybe I think of death a little too often for someone who is only in her thirty’s.

  11. Yeah, please don’t put up your final blog entry. There’s no pretending you’re dead just to avoid stopping by my blog, dangit! Great clip choice though. Bill Cosby is awesome!

  12. It certainly is a mind boggling thought that I should leave an ending sentence, “See ya’ soon”..and then someone in the family has to enter—-well, not really have to enter—but, enter that I was gone…What? Gone on vacation or gone to another country or to another site??..or just gone..Sad thought for the readers…*sigh*…Please don’t post a goodbye like that…K???

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