Recently some of us wacko bloggers had a quick discussion on Twitter about the crazy search keywords that land viewers at our blogs. Some were better than others of course, which left those of us with boring search results jealous. 

Thus began the “HUH???” blog ring.

Occasionally, the members of this blog effort will go out of our way to make posts with wacky stuff in them, in the hopes that our keyword traffic gets funnier and more interesting. When these funny keywords show up, we’re going to go here and post it in the comments.

(In an effort to keep all the comments together, I’ve disabled comments on this post, so if you have some great keywords and / or blog posts about the keywords you have already found, go there, comment and link, and we’ll all enjoy a good laugh!)

If you would like to join us in this endeavor, all you gotta do is grab the badge, link it back to this post, and post some crazy shit! On the first of each month, come back here and post your results for the weirdest keyword search that shows up in your keyword results.

Yes. That’s right. We’re going to be weird for the sake of being weird, just to see if it works…

Need To Know Basis!

I’ve posted before about my father and the veritable gold mine that was his brain. He was the go to man for any sort of information, however obscure, and if he didn’t know it, he knew where to find it.

My approach to life used to be somewhat different. I was always in favor of tests in school being open book, mostly because LIFE is open book, and not everyone can memorize things as well as others. I’ve managed to get by and indeed grow a whole career now, based on the knowledge that something is possible, I just had to figure it out.

Let me elaborate upon that… I am an I.T. guy, or a computer geek, if you will. I get computers and software to do things for people who need to produce something. Fulfilling this role does not require that I be intimate with every piece of software that I support. It only requires that I know what the users should be able to do. For instance, I know that graphic designers need to be able to create things like advertisements, so I know they’re going to need an array of fonts to choose from.

I know enough about how it works that I can generally figure that somewhere in the options, or preferences, or some other area in the software, I can load fonts. For me, (sometimes…) a general idea is enough to get the job done. This is OK for someone who is going to help you download your email. This is not OK for someone who is going to remove your tumors, or put someone on the moon… but I don’t plan to do either of those things.

Still though, I apparently have enough of my father in me that I tend to absorb information about things that interest me, and lots of times the information that sticks isn’t what would be traditionally called “useful”… The sort of stuff that sometimes comes up in conversation, and when you share your thoughts, everyone has learned something, but no one really knows what to do with it, so everyone just says “Oh!” or “Huh, how bout that!” and nods, followed by a brief and awkward silence…

For instance… Did you know that hot air actually does NOT rise… Cold air falls, displacing the hot air. Because the cold air comes down, the hot air has nowhere else to go but up. It doesn’t rise, it’s pushed up.

Or did you know that cold is the absence of heat… There is never a presence of cold…Things do not grow cold, they simply continue to lose heat. You do not absorb cold from a block of ice, the block of ice absorbs heat from you.

And now you’re going “Huh, how bout that!” with your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth stretching down toward your chin.

Occasionally, I come up with a fact that actually is useful, but instead of regarding me with looks of impressed reverence, I get a lot of “Why the hell do you even know that?!”. Well excuse me for being informed!

It’s one thing to not expect someone to know something… it’s quite another to expect someone to not know something, and worse still to ridicule them when they do!

The fact that the Internet is bursting at the seams with information has really made information far less of a commodity, I think. I have witnessed first hand a company hiring someone based on the results of a test, in which the employee was to look at a drawing, and reproduce it. The job did not go to the person who drew a similar drawing the fastest. The job went to the person who happened to notice that along the bottom of the diagram was the network path to the drawing file. Right at the bottom it said something like F:JobsBlocksBoiler.dwg. The kid followed the path, opened the drawing, and said he was done. Boom: new hire.

It seems like people these days are in many ways encouraged to cut corners like that. Yes, it’s faster. Yes it’s more productive, but what happens when the infrastructure has a flaw, when someone mis-labels a drawing file, and this whizkid is forced back to the basics he was so flagrantly disregarding, and was IN FACT HIRED FOR, but based on the fact that he could circumvent their use…?

Perhaps the fact that I’m still in my very early 30s doesn’t entitle me to store these tidbits of information in my head? I could borrow them if I needed to write a paper, or apply them to a situation, but I’m supposed to let them fade from my consciousness because I know I could always just retrieve them from Wikipedia again some other time?

If that’s the case, I humbly apologize for accidentally bringing your ignorance to bare. My bad. What age will I be able to stop pretending to be vapid and devoid of thought?

…Sheesh! Now I sound bitter.

Have you ever been looked at sideways for knowing an answer, or being right? Have you ever gotten that “Oh, good, here comes this guy with all the answers” look, and just wanted to poke them in the eye? Ever just wanted to shout “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question!”

Do you feel that people are being let off to easily these days without actually having to know what they should know?

Hold Music: A Form of Torture

I’m in technical support, and I spend a lot of time on the phone either with clients, or vendors, or a client’s vendors, or any combination thereof.

Tonight, I’ve called a couple of folks who put me on hold for an extended amount of time, and have the absolute worst (in my opinion) music available. Is this a good idea?? I mean, have they thought things through? You can’t NOT listen, cause you need to know when the tech comes back, but you really don’t want to listen to it either.

I’ve been working on one of those things that goes one step forward, and then stops, and you have to do a dozen other things before you can take the next step, etc… By 9 pm, I’ve dealt with 7 things that SHOULD work, but mysteriously don’t today… They worked yesterday, but they suddenly stopped and no one knows why. So I call tech support… and I’m put on hold, and get to listen to freakin TubThumping. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, but I highly recommend you don’t click it.

“You should be all set sir,” they say. “Just give it twenty to thirty minutes and you can start your business.” Forty minutes later, I call back, cause the thing they said would work does not. Again, I call support. Again I’m put on hold. Mambo Number Five. Really?

“Gee, that’s strange,” he said. “That should have worked. Let me try that again.” Another forty minutes go by, and still nothing. Yet again, I call support. “Just a moment, let me research the issue.” I couldn’t identify the garbage they put on for that hold, but it was horrible… “Yeah, we don’t know what’s going on. We can put a ticket in to our administrators, but they won’t get to it right away, cause they’re in Germany. Should be done by morning though.”

So. Frustration, meets a lot of shoulder shrugging and irritating music, only to be forced into calling it a night.

Hope your day goes better than mine. 🙂 


I’m sure you all know that blogger went down yesterday. I was wondering what the hell happened, all of a sudden I wasn’t getting any email. I never realized how much email I get via blogger!

So they say they’re going to restore the most recent posts, but I’m almost hoping they don’t. There was one other post I made with a Stick I.T. drawing, but I’m sorta thinking I should slow down the posting of those, so that I don’t run out of material too fast!

Anyway, glad blogger’s back, so I’ll be seeing you shortly. 🙂

100th follower and a little embarrasment

So I hit a milestone yesterday, I now have 100 people subscribing to my random drivel. I’ve been trying to think of something I could do for the occasion, and thought about a gift card contest to someplace like, but I’m broke, so that’s out.

As it turned out, I was done a favor by my 100th, Belle. She was kind enough to point out that I had a mistake in my Blogger profile, that I HAVE to believe at least a few of the other 99 of you have seen before.

Ironically, right next to the mistake is the picture of me doing the face-palm. Apropos, if you ask me.

So thanks to the 99 of you who’ve stuck around regardless of my mistakes, and thanks to the 100th for helping me out! 
I figure as long as I can stick to only disappointing myself, I’ll be OK! 😀