I had a dream that the sperm bank called me.

They scolded me for having a savings account there. Told me I was reckless for just throwing it away.

I told them I hate the stuff. That’s why I’m always trying to get rid of it. I like to let them out, I imagine it gets crowded in there. I think they’re claustrophobic. Besides, I don’t just throw it away, I also donate it at the bar.

I told them I believed that one bank account where I make deposits and women make withdrawals was enough, but they wouldn’t listen.

So I rushed over. They thanked me for cumming so quickly. I said I was well known for doing so. I like being punctual. I wanted to beat the crowd, their service is first cum, first served. Also, when it comes to sperm, there’s nothing scarier than the word “late”.

So now I have an account, and when I write checks my ass can’t cash, my penis can’t either.

At least I know this account will never be over drawn. Only savings account I’ve ever had for which there was no interest.

I asked them if they’d waive the monthly fee if I got direct deposit. They told me direct deposit (or erect deposit in this case) would have been a self-defeating service for a sperm bank to offer, because it’s technically called “having a girlfriend”.

Their ATMs seem convenient, but instead of charging you a fee to use it, you get charged with lewd and lascivious behavior. Don’t use them, you’ll get the shaft.

I decided to get online to learn more about banking and realized I’ve been researching that topic online for years.

The only reason I can think of to work at a sperm bank would be so that when I’m hassled at the supermarket for donations, I can say “No thanks, I gave at the office” and have it actually be true.

Alright, that’s all I have for this topic. Moving now from stupid sperm to other senseless dribble…

Been a While!

So, I guess I kinda blew the 2014 A to Z Challenge, huh?

Been a hell of a time these last few months. I’m not going get into specifics, but I throw a few buzz words out there, so you can get the idea…

Back pain. Physical Therapy. Bills. Meds Back Pain. Meds. Back pain. Less pain. Off meds. New Car! Car totaled after 3 weeks. (not our fault) Bills. Back pain again. Back on meds. Possibly more physical therapy. Bills.

That about brings us up to current.

I really don’t like taking pain meds. Can’t really do much on them, cause I think I’m feeling better than I actually am… So I do a few things, and the next day, I walk like a question mark.

They also leave me in a bit of a haze where things like blogging, writing, talking, etc… are just too cumbersome to bother with when I don’t have to.

I think I’m coming out the other side of all that though. I’m starting to dare to be optimistic again. Feeling okay, moving around, and so on. Could deal with some cooler weather though. Tired of the hot humidity. I think that too is on the decline though.

Anyway, good to see ya. Hope all is well. Don’t be any stranger. I’ll be back again soon. Keep the light on.


Koosh #AtoZChallenge

When I started blogging some years ago, it was originally to leave something behind for my kids, so that one day, presuming they actually care, they could go through my posts and learn a little about who I was, etc… Of course, I spent the next few weeks trying to post about things that I thought other people would care about, and trying to drive traffic in and run up my add words numbers. It was exhausting, and fruitless. Then I started posting again for exactly what I started blogging for again.

After a couple years, I realized, I post a lot about junk that makes me sound like an old man reflecting on a pretty small treasures from my youth, and what not. So I kinda stopped again for a while.

Well. Here I am again. Thinking about some things that are really insignificant, but brought me some pretty great fun as a kid… Simple things made big impacts.

So here it is, the Koosh-ball.

Pretty much just a bunch of rubber bands that were cut, and tied together. I am not sure whether it was the first time these things came out, or it was just the first time I ever saw one, and thought they’d just come out, or whatever… But I’d never seen anything like them.

I’m sure I could have made a better K post, but yanno, I just don’t want to. So there.

Ever had a kooshball?

E, F, G, H, I, and J! #AtoZChallenge

Kinda fell a little behind there, and to catch up, I’m kinda cheating… This post will cover E through J. Since it’s going to be a lot of letters covered, I thought I’d try not to bore you, so I have decided to do a string of YouTube videos again.

Here is some of the greatest music of all time.

Everybody’s Fool – Evanescence

Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty

Gimmie Back my Bullets – Lynyrd Skynyrd

Have you Ever Seen the Rain – Creedence Clearwater Revival

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

Jeremy – Pearl Jam

Delayed! #AtoZChallenge

I had a feeling I was going to fall behind on this challenge at some point, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon… Just got my “C” post up, and what better subject for “D” than to call myself out on my inevitable failure.

My goal here is to help you feel better about yourself, see? I’m a nice guy. 🙂

Have you fallen behind yet? Do you think you will??