Banking

I had a dream that the sperm bank called me.

They scolded me for having a savings account there. Told me I was reckless for just throwing it away.

I told them I hate the stuff. That’s why I’m always trying to get rid of it. I like to let them out, I imagine it gets crowded in there. I think they’re claustrophobic. Besides, I don’t just throw it away, I also donate it at the bar.

I told them I believed that one bank account where I make deposits and women make withdrawals was enough, but they wouldn’t listen.

So I rushed over. They thanked me for cumming so quickly. I said I was well known for doing so. I like being punctual. I wanted to beat the crowd, their service is first cum, first served. Also, when it comes to sperm, there’s nothing scarier than the word “late”.

So now I have an account, and when I write checks my ass can’t cash, my penis can’t either.

At least I know this account will never be over drawn. Only savings account I’ve ever had for which there was no interest.

I asked them if they’d waive the monthly fee if I got direct deposit. They told me direct deposit (or erect deposit in this case) would have been a self-defeating service for a sperm bank to offer, because it’s technically called “having a girlfriend”.

Their ATMs seem convenient, but instead of charging you a fee to use it, you get charged with lewd and lascivious behavior. Don’t use them, you’ll get the shaft.

I decided to get online to learn more about banking and realized I’ve been researching that topic online for years.

The only reason I can think of to work at a sperm bank would be so that when I’m hassled at the supermarket for donations, I can say “No thanks, I gave at the office” and have it actually be true.

Alright, that’s all I have for this topic. Moving now from stupid sperm to other senseless dribble…

Been a While!

So, I guess I kinda blew the 2014 A to Z Challenge, huh?

Been a hell of a time these last few months. I’m not going get into specifics, but I throw a few buzz words out there, so you can get the idea…

Back pain. Physical Therapy. Bills. Meds Back Pain. Meds. Back pain. Less pain. Off meds. New Car! Car totaled after 3 weeks. (not our fault) Bills. Back pain again. Back on meds. Possibly more physical therapy. Bills.

That about brings us up to current.

I really don’t like taking pain meds. Can’t really do much on them, cause I think I’m feeling better than I actually am… So I do a few things, and the next day, I walk like a question mark.

They also leave me in a bit of a haze where things like blogging, writing, talking, etc… are just too cumbersome to bother with when I don’t have to.

I think I’m coming out the other side of all that though. I’m starting to dare to be optimistic again. Feeling okay, moving around, and so on. Could deal with some cooler weather though. Tired of the hot humidity. I think that too is on the decline though.

Anyway, good to see ya. Hope all is well. Don’t be any stranger. I’ll be back again soon. Keep the light on.

 

Koosh #AtoZChallenge

When I started blogging some years ago, it was originally to leave something behind for my kids, so that one day, presuming they actually care, they could go through my posts and learn a little about who I was, etc… Of course, I spent the next few weeks trying to post about things that I thought other people would care about, and trying to drive traffic in and run up my add words numbers. It was exhausting, and fruitless. Then I started posting again for exactly what I started blogging for again.

After a couple years, I realized, I post a lot about junk that makes me sound like an old man reflecting on a pretty small treasures from my youth, and what not. So I kinda stopped again for a while.

Well. Here I am again. Thinking about some things that are really insignificant, but brought me some pretty great fun as a kid… Simple things made big impacts.

So here it is, the Koosh-ball.

Pretty much just a bunch of rubber bands that were cut, and tied together. I am not sure whether it was the first time these things came out, or it was just the first time I ever saw one, and thought they’d just come out, or whatever… But I’d never seen anything like them.

I’m sure I could have made a better K post, but yanno, I just don’t want to. So there.

Ever had a kooshball?

E, F, G, H, I, and J! #AtoZChallenge

Kinda fell a little behind there, and to catch up, I’m kinda cheating… This post will cover E through J. Since it’s going to be a lot of letters covered, I thought I’d try not to bore you, so I have decided to do a string of YouTube videos again.

Here is some of the greatest music of all time.

Everybody’s Fool – Evanescence

Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty

Gimmie Back my Bullets – Lynyrd Skynyrd

Have you Ever Seen the Rain – Creedence Clearwater Revival

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

Jeremy – Pearl Jam

Delayed! #AtoZChallenge

I had a feeling I was going to fall behind on this challenge at some point, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon… Just got my “C” post up, and what better subject for “D” than to call myself out on my inevitable failure.

My goal here is to help you feel better about yourself, see? I’m a nice guy. 🙂

Have you fallen behind yet? Do you think you will??

Ack! #AtoZChallenge

I completely screwed this up, I had every intention – back in JANUARY! – to start writing and scheduling posts for this, so I could focus more on visiting YOUR sites! And then… It’s April!

So… Here we are! All I can say is ACK! 😛

Did you plan everything out, or are you a seat of the pants type of blogger, like I (apparently!) am?

Project New Leash

Have you ever seen those “Please adopt me” posts of cats and dogs who are on death row at kill shelters on Facebook? If not, here’s some…

A friend of mine shares them regularly on his page, and one day a friend of his said “Oh, I wish I could help that dog, but I can’t afford the adoption fees!” He was able to raise the money for her, and even found transportation for the dog to get to the new home.

He began to wonder if it would be possible to create a website where folks could register, and offer to travel X miles to help an animal in trouble, or offer to donate toward an adoption fee. We could then have the shelters post an animal, and it could plot a course from shelter to owner. It would then contact people who said they’d travel and live along the course, to see if they’d be able to help deliver the pet, or possibly foster the pet for a few days, etc.

We decided that it’s gotta be possible. We’ve talked to the folks who could make it possible, and it’s not out of the realm of possibility, but first we need some help.

First and foremost, we need people. We need some exposure. We need everyone who can, to spread our word. Please visit us at http://New-Leash.org and check is out. There’s a Facebook page, Twitter page and everything else there for you, follow, like and do everything you can!

Empathy is not Dead

I’m told that it’s just the area in which I live, that things aren’t the same in less crowded places, but over the years I’ve marveled at just how indifferent people are in general. Nobody wants to help anyone else, ever. People are too busy or afraid to pull over when they see someone’s broken down, etc.

Recently, I’ve had two pretty awesome events happen to me that has… I wouldn’t say renewed my faith in humanity, but it sure was nice anyway.

Money is tight these days. It’s uncommon that we are able to shell out $350 for oil for the house. We only use it for hot water and heat, and during the summer, we don’t use heat anyway… Fortunately, I was told by our oil guy to just run out and get 10 gallons of diesel gas. He said it’s the same thing they sell, they just put a dye in it.

So I’d run out to the gas station and get 5 or 10 gallons as I could. One day I got out there, and my card didn’t work. I’d gone with $20, was going to get $20 of car gas, $20 of diesel. I could not NOT get gas for the car, it was running on fumes as it was, but we were out of oil at home, thus no hot water for showers… The kid behind the counter took $20 out of his own pocket, and told me I was all set.

Now, I know I had the money in my account, my card was just being tempermental, so I went home, put the diesel in the tank, primed the boiler pump and went back out. I went to the ATM got $20 and paid him back. He said it was funny that I came back, he’d just given another person $20 right after me, said she almost cried.

I ran into him there a week or so later, he remembered me. I asked if he’d ever gotten paid back by the other girl, he said no with a smile, and shrugged. Had I had the money, I’d have paid him back for her.

The second time was just yesterday. I’d gotten a flat tire, and my car is kinda over the hill as far as mileage, so the spare underneath the back hasn’t budged since it went up. The mechanism in the back of the car that you crank to lower the tire down was old and corroded, and wouldn’t lower the tire down all the way, so I couldn’t get it out from under the car.

I called my dealer, he recommended I call the mechanic. I’ve been to this guy a few times now, so he remembered me. He actually came out to the house, and helped me get the tire out. Wouldn’t accept any payment or owed favors or anything.

People in service positions like that are in a unique position to be terribly kind. Unfortunately, they typically seem to choose not to. Still, knowing there are still some folks who feel the reward of simply doing something nice, is encouraging.

Anything like this happy to you lately?